All Because Of A Rumour
by xEmerald Isle
Summary: When a stupid rumour spreads around South Park High about Stan, Craig is willing to beat him up for it. The one person most unlikely to save Stan from the revenge-filled Craig does and Stan's feelings for him change forever... For Nikki-Fox's contest.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey readers of Fanfiction. I finally posted something. Yay! *cheers* XD_

_This is a CartmanxStan fic and it's for Nikki-Fox's contest for Unlikely Couples. I know it's not that much of an unlikely couple but anyway let's just forget about that! XD_

_This is Stan's POV by the way._

_Enjoy!! =D_

* * *

Did you ever fall in love with someone you never thought you'd fall in love with? Maybe a sort of friend who was never actually nice to you much but something about them just touched your heart?

Well, that's the situation I'm in. My name is Stan Marsh. I'm sixteen years old and I live in South Park, Colorado.

My best friend in the whole world is Kyle Broflovski. He's an awesome friend and is always there for me when I need him. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Another friend of mine is Kenny McCormick. He's a funny perverted guy who can always cheer me up when I'm down. He always makes sick jokes and takes pictures of naked girls and stuff which makes me laugh. You could never meet a more perverted teenage boy!

And the last of my friends that I'm going to tell you about is Eric Cartman. We all call him by his last name for some reason.. Don't ask why. Anyway, basically he's a fat, racist, self-centered, intolerant, manipulative sociopath, as Kyle once put it. He insults everyone, especially Kyle, and enjoys it immensely! He's such an asshole.

Now, out of those three friends I mentioned, which one do you think I'm in love with? Go on, guess!

_Kyle? _No.

_Kenny? _Nope.

…_Cartman? _

……

Yes. I'm in love with Eric Cartman.

……

Stop looking at me like that! It's not my fault I love him!

Anyway, so yeah, I'm in love with Eric Cartman. I didn't always love him though. When we were kids, I used to hate him, like everyone else still does, but then my feelings for him changed.

… What? You want me to tell you how I fell in love with Cartman? Well… I'm not sure… it's a really long story and-

…… Ok fine! I'll tell you the story. But it's quite long so if you get bored, don't say I didn't warn you!

It all started about two years ago, when I was fourteen. Basically a lot of stupid rumours spread around South Park High easily at that time, and still do, and most of them aren't true.

And yes, you guessed right. One of the rumours was about me…

The rumour was that I had been dating Bebe Stevens, Craig Tucker's new girlfriend at the time, secretly behind his back, which of course I wasn't. Craig found out soon after it started and came after me with a posse of friends- Clyde, Token, Jimmy, etc.

They came up to me as I was taking books out of my locker, getting ready for my next class and unaware that they were even there, and then I was pushed to the ground, landing hard on my back.

I groaned as I sat up in a daze, rubbing the back of my head to somewhat sooth the pain. Before I could even register what just happened, I was hauled to my feet by a firm grip on the front of my shirt and my face was found directly in front of someone's face, who after a few seconds I realized was Craig's.

"You fucking asshole!" he roared right in my face, nearly deafening me. "How dare you go out with Bebe behind my back?! You know I'm dating her, asshole! How could you think I wouldn't find out?!"

I didn't answer. My head was still pounding from getting hit off the ground, and I found it hard to concentrate solely on what was being said.

He obviously didn't like the fact that I was ignoring him and so shook me vigorously, worsening my headache and nearly making me want to throw up.

"Answer me, asshole!" he yelled. "Why the fuck are you going out with Bebe? How long have you been doing it?! Answer me!"

He finally stopped shaking me and I blinked slowly, my head gradually starting to ease the pain and I let all the words Craig said sink into my brain before answering.

"What?! Craig, I've never gone out with Bebe in my **life**! And I never will! That's just a stupid rumour someone started!" I cried in defence.

His face darkened, as did his eyes, which started to frighten me. "Don't lie to me, Marsh," he said through clenched teeth, his eyes narrowing. "Now just answer my questions truthfully and I _may_ not fully rearrange your face!"

I swallowed nervously as his posse's eyes all laid on me then, and I could read from all their faces that they were eager to beat me up, eager for revenge for hurting their friend.

"Guys, stop please. I swear I never went out with Bebe. Some gaywad started that rumour just to-"

_Smack!_

I was cut off mid-sentence by a hard fist connecting with my cheek. I blinked in a daze while rubbing my now reddened cheek. I didn't even get a second to comprehend what just happened because another hard fist connected with my jaw, making my head shoot backwards and slowly fall forward again.

My head was whirling at that moment and I could taste a strong hint of blood in my mouth. I let out a pained groan as my headache returned along with my aching jaw and my tender cheek.

I felt Craig's darkened eyes on me as I winced at the pain on my face and skull. I noticed a glimpse of humour on his face and I knew he was happy to see me suffer.

A few seconds later, the pain eased down and I gazed into Craig's hate-filled eyes. "Craig, I seriously didn't steal your whore of a girlfriend," I said, my voice coming out sharper than intended. "And I never plan to."

As much as I tried to convince him I was telling the truth, I could read all over his face that he still didn't believe me. He thought I was a filthy liar. The bastard…

He started to get seriously pissed off! His face reddened more, and his eyes narrowed while his hands balled into tight fists.

He shot me a death of a glare before completely exploding.

"**I'm gonna fucking kill you**!" he roared as he yanked me forward so I was directly in front of him again, one of his hands wrapped tightly around the front of my shirt while the other lifted slowly, ready to give me another punch, probably harder this time.

I shut my eyes tightly, preparing to endure the pain as much as I could, and waited for his fist to connect with my skin.

Before his fist could go anywhere near my flesh, the hand wrapped around my shirt released me and I heard someone crash onto the floor in front of me. I cracked open one eye before slowly opening both, gazing down in surprise and confusion at the big mess on the floor known as Craig Tucker. His nose was gushing bleeding and I guessed he'd been punched.

My eyes then settled on the person who was standing by my side, and I gasped in even more surprise to see who it was who'd saved me.

Eric Cartman.

"C Cartman?" I asked in shock, my voice barely audible.

He grinned at me and nodded. "Yeah, Stan, it's me. Don't look so shocked to see me saving you, fag." He winked and I raised an eyebrow, still completely surprised.

Before I could say a word, Craig groaned in pain and scrambled to his feet, his eyes settling on me, a look of revenge clear on his face, despite the fact it wasn't even me who'd hurt him.

He stepped towards me and I felt myself being yanked behind Cartman for protection, his large hands on my shirt. "Stay!" he ordered and, for some reason, I obeyed. Whether it was the fact I was still too surprised about everything or the fact that I wasn't going to get beaten up that I stayed, I don't know. I don't really care though.

Craig then laid his eyes on Cartman, a heated glare on his face. Then he turned to me again, his rage building up quickly. "So what; you've got a protector now, Marsh? Pft, you're pathetic. You always were! You've always been such a fucking pathetic, faggy, little-"

"Shut it, Craig!" snapped Cartman sharply, his eyes narrowing as he glared at the other boy.

Craig's glare just darkened even more. "Make me, fatass. I don't listen to you. I'm gonna beat that little fag to a pulp and no one will stop me!"

"**Don't** **touch him**!" cried Cartman, his voice coming out louder than expected, causing me to jump. "If you lay another finger on him, Craig, I'll fucking kill you!"

Craig only chuckled with slight humour, while folding his arms across his chest. "Oh, I'm _so_ scared, fat boy. Somebody hold me!" he said sarcastically, a filthy smirk now plastered on his face.

Cartman clenched his teeth angrily, his hands trembling with rage at his sides, desperately wanting to beat Craig to a pulp himself.

"Cartman, calm down," I whispered softly, making it so only he could hear.

I heard him take a deep intake of air before relaxing, the redness on his cheeks fading slowly.

"Move out of the way, Cartman. I'm not afraid of you so just move. I wanna beat the fucking shit out of that girlfriend-stealing asshole!" snapped Craig, shooting me another glare.

I swallowed nervously and Cartman took a dangerous step towards Craig, his hands balling into fists.

"I said **don't touch him**!" he cried, his face growing red again with rage. "Stan didn't steal your fucking bitch of a girlfriend, ok?!"

Craig raised an eyebrow, slowly growing suspicious. "And how do _you_ know that, fatass?"

"B because…" Cartman cleared his throat before continuing. "Because I started the stupid rumour!"

I nearly collapsed on my ass on the floor at that moment, but I managed to stay standing, though my eyes widened slowly and my mouth dropped open of its own accord.

"Y y you?" I asked slowly, unsure of what to say.

Cartman half-turned his head towards me and waited there for a few moments before turning to fully look at me, his eyes softening as he gazed at me. "Yes, Stan. I started it," he said softly, a delicate look in his eyes.

"But, but why-"

"Why the fuck did you start that rumour?!" Craig interrupted me angrily. "You made me come all the way over here, ready to beat up Stan because I thought he was secretly dating my girlfriend. But it was all just a rumour started by you?! Why?!"

Cartman turned his head fully towards him again, his eyes darkening. "None of your business, Tucker!" he snapped sharply.

Craig's eyebrows shot up instantly, suddenly interested. A small grin started to form on his face, replacing his dark glare, and causing me to blink at him in confusion. "Hmm… you got me curious now, Cartman. I'm quite interested about this. How about we make a deal, fat boy?"

Cartman's eyes narrowed suspiciously and he frowned at the blue-hatted boy anxiously, unsure of whether to just walk away and take me with him, now that I was no longer a threat to Craig or whether to listen to what Craig's deal was. After a few seconds of mentally debating, his curiosity got the better of him and he decided to listen to the deal.

"Alright, Tucker, what sort of deal are you talking about here?" he asked, raising a questioning eyebrow.

It was that moment I moved and stood by Cartman's side, no longer a threat to Craig or his posse.

Cartman's eyes flickered to me for a moment as I stood next to him before gazing back at Craig, who was wearing a strange grin on his face.

"If you tell me why you started the rumour, I won't hurt little Marsh over there," said Craig, gesturing to me. I shot him a frown, both annoyed by being called 'little' when I wasn't _even_ little and also confused as to why he'd even bother beating me up when I didn't do anything to him!

Cartman seemed to be thinking the same thing for he shot me a puzzled glance before looking back at Craig again. "What the fuck are you talking about, Craig? Stan never stole your precious girlfriend, remember? So you have no reason to hurt him," he said.

Craig grinned deviously, reminding me somewhat of the grin Cartman gave Kyle a lot when he was pissing him off or thinking of a new evil plan to unleash on him…

"Yes, but I don't fully believe that you started the rumour, which means I still have my suspicions that Stan tried to steal Bebe from me. But unless you tell me the reason you supposedly started the rumour, then I won't hurt him. Understand, fat boy?"

I glanced nervously at Cartman next to me, and noticed his eyes narrow dangerously at Craig again, his anger returning to him gradually. "I don't need to tell you the reason! I can perfectly protect Stan by myself."

"Against me alone, maybe, but against me and my friends you don't stand a chance," he said, glancing sideways at his few friends, who all nodded in agreement.

Cartman shot all of them heated glares before letting out a defeated sigh, knowing he had no other choice. I stared at him curiously, wondering why telling Craig the reason he started the rumour was such a big deal. Surely it couldn't be that big of a secret, could it?

Cartman's eyes glanced around nervously, before resting on a certain part of the floor. I noticed a small blush creeping onto his cheeks and I had to blink a few times to see if it was really there. And it was, to my surprise!

_Cartman blushing_? I never saw that image before until that very moment.

He seemed to notice me staring at him as he glanced sideways at me, causing me to instantly look away, slightly embarrassed as I realized I was probably staring at him like a fag.

He turned back to Craig again, who was standing there with a bored expression on his face while he waited for Cartman's answer.

"Umm… well… I… umm…" stammered Cartman, causing me to blink in surprise again. This was a side to Cartman I'd never seen before. He was just so nervous and helpless… and kinda cute…

At that moment, I nearly slapped myself across the face at having that thought in my mind. Cartman was **not** cute, at all! He was a fat asshole who… well… saved me…

…Ugh, emotions are so annoying!

My mind started to go a little fuzzy then; it was too clouded with thoughts of confusion, surprise and anxiety, wondering what was going to end up happening to me if Cartman didn't just say the stupid reason. I seriously didn't understand how it could be such a big secret!

My mind was so lost in these thoughts for a while and I only realized a while later that Cartman was staring at me strangely, a look of worry and fear on his face, which I'd never seen before.

I blinked in surprise and gazed back at him in confusion. "Cartman, what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"

He finally blinked and instantly looked away, breaking eye contact, and I noticed his cheeks redden more. "Uhh… n no reason," he mumbled quietly.

"Ok… well why don't you just say the god damn reason then, fatass? It'll save both our asses if you just say it. What's stopping you?" I cried, beginning to lose my patience.

He let out a deep sigh before gazing up at me again, our eyes meeting. "Stan…" He sighed again, and I could have sworn I saw a quick gleam in his eyes. "You have no idea how much I want to tell you the reason for starting that rumour. Believe me, I really want to… and I was planning to. I thought I was ready… but I realize now that I'm not. I'm not strong enough to tell you…"

He dropped his gaze to the floor once again and I blinked in surprise.

This type of speech coming from Cartman would usually make me feel suspicious of him, knowing that he would probably be planning something or other, but this time I saw the honesty in his eyes, and I knew he was speaking truthfully. But about what? What was this reason he so didn't want me to know? What was he not strong enough to tell me?

My eyes started to widen slowly as his words fully sunk into my brain. This was a side to Cartman I never thought existed. I'd never seen it before. He was so soft and protective… I quite liked this side of him.

"Cartman?"

He glanced up at me again in response, not bothering to reply.

"You sound so…uh… different," I said, unsure of the right word. "I just can't believe this is… you." I paused for a moment before adding playfully, "Who are you and what have you done with the real Cartman?!"

He grinned and chuckled lightly, his eyes seeming to sparkle again. I let out a small laugh too and our eyes met again for a brief moment, somehow causing my mind to go completely blank until Craig spoke and caused us to look away.

"Dudes, what the fuck is wrong with you?! You're staring at each other like fucking fags!" he cried, his eyebrows raised.

"Shut up, Tucker!" snapped Cartman harshly, shooting the boy a glare.

"Ugh you know, I'm getting pretty sick of you two! Ok, I believe it was just a fucking rumour, alright? Happy now? So I won't waste my time hurting little Stanley Marsh, ok? I have more important things to do anyway," he answered, and for some strange reason my heart sank a little.

I knew that since Craig was dropping the subject completely Cartman would never say why he started the rumour, and with a speech like he'd said earlier, I was really eager to know what it was.

I decided to try and piss Craig off so he'd continue to stay and ask for the reason, and hopefully I'd get it.

"More important things like what? Feeling Bebe's hot tits?" I said bravely and all eyes shot to me, all widening in surprise.

Cartman's mouth dropped open and he stared at me for a long time, though I didn't look back. My eyes were on Craig, whose eyes were widened with shock and fury.

He took a dangerous step forward and I nearly stepped back but I remained standing where I was, not wanting to look afraid. Craig took another step towards me, his face now full of rage, and Cartman quickly shook off his shock to stand in front of me protectively again.

Craig let out a really pissed off groan before glaring at Cartman. "Fatass, don't do this. We're just starting this whole thing all over again, except this time I'm not leaving until I beat Stan up. I know he really did start dating Bebe behind my back now!"

I frowned in confusion and raised an eyebrow. "How?"

"You just fucking said Bebe's tits were hot! That means you obviously saw them! Which means you've probably fucked her too!" cried Craig, as if it was completely obvious.

I shook my head quickly, realizing I just made a huge mistake. "Craig, no no I didn't. I never went out with Bebe or fucked her or anything! I just said that as a joke!"

I knew it was a pathetic lie but it was the only thing I could come up with at the time. He let out another angry groan and glared hatefully at me over Cartman's shoulder.

"You fucking liar!" he yelled. "Marsh, I'm going to stay here for hours on end unless you let me beat the shit out of you! So I suggest you just give in and get it over with."

I swallowed loudly at that moment, wanting to kick myself so hard for getting me back into this situation when I was completely safe from harm a few moments ago. Curse me!

I let out a deep sigh after thinking it over, and I gently placed my hand on Cartman's arm to gently brush him aside while I take my punishment.

A grin seemed to form on Craig's face as he realized my decision and I shut my eyes tightly, not wanting to see his fists giving me hard punches everywhere.

Before I could feel any pain, a loud cry escaped Craig's throat and my eyes shot open to see him bending down, clutching his stomach tightly as he groaned in agony. I was completely confused and was about to ask someone what just happened before I was completely knocked off my feet and being dragged away from the scene.

My mind was whirling like crazy as I was being hauled away from an unknown person and it was only when I was finally stopped and put back on my feet did I see that it was only Cartman who'd lifted me away. Thank god!

"Dude, Cartman, what the fuck?" I cried, staring at him in confusion.

"Stan, just shut up," he snapped, obviously pissed off with me, probably for getting us back in the same situation again. "Just get to class. We're already late as it is."

He turned to walk away but I grabbed his shoulder quickly and pulled him back, a small frown on my face. "You're not going anywhere until you answer some questions, fatass!" I said, and he groaned in annoyance but stayed where he was to hear me out.

"What was the reason you started that rumour? And why didn't you just say it to Craig?" I asked.

He groaned again and shook my hand off his shoulder and then stared into my ice-blue eyes, a serious look on his face.

"Stan, I just saved your ass. You should be grateful. Don't bother asking any questions," he said sternly, his eyes narrowing slightly.

I frowned at him and took a small step forward, showing I wasn't going anywhere until I got what I wanted. And what I wanted was answers.

"Cartman, just fucking tell me. I'm not gonna leave until you do." I folded my arms across my chest while looking at him, waiting for him to just give in.

He glared at me before folding his arms as well. "Well, I guess we're going to be here a long time then," he replied, and I glared back angrily at him, my impatience growing.

"Cartman, why don't you just fucking say it?" I said. "Surely it can't be that big of a deal."

He looked away from my eyes and sighed. "Trust me, it is."

I let out another long sigh, my impatience growing too much. I knew Cartman wasn't going to tell me, so I decided to not bother trying anymore.

"Fine fine, Cartman, I'll leave you alone. You're obviously not gonna tell me, are you?"

He shook his head and I let out a final sigh. "Alright fine. I guess I'll see you later."

Before I could turn to leave he placed his large hands on my shoulders, gazing into my eyes and not giving me much of a choice but to stare back into his chocolate-brown eyes.

"Just promise me one thing, Stan," he said, and I blinked in response, giving him a small nod to let him know I was listening. "Promise you won't tell anyone about this, not even Kahl. Ok?"

I blinked in confusion as I noticed a slight look of something which looked like worry or fear on Cartman's chubby face. "Umm… why?" I asked.

He looked away from me for a brief moment before looking back, and I definitely noticed a look of anxiety on his face.

"Just promise me, Stan," he said, a slight sharp tone in his voice.

I sighed and nodded. "Alright, I promise."

He smiled and released my shoulders, taking a small step away from me. "Uhh thanks, so umm… we should probably get to class now. We're already ten minutes late. If we wait any longer they'll send a search party after us."

I raised an eyebrow and frowned at him. "What are you talking about, Cartman? You skip classes all the time and no one sends a search party for you, even if they know you're in."

Cartman grinned and I saw a glint in his eyes. "That's just me, Stan. They know that I skip class at times and they can't be bothered to search for me. But you, on the other hand, never skip class. You're a good student and if they know you're present but you're not in class they'll definitely start a search for you."

I grinned back. "I guess you're right. Let's go then."

We both took a few steps forward before Cartman stopped in his tracks. I stopped too and gave him a questioning look. "Cartman, what's wrong?"

He just glanced at me before taking a small step back. "Nothing's wrong. I just… I'm not in the mood to go to class now. I think I'll skip."

"Aww, come on! I'm not in the mood for class either but I'm still going! Just come on."

He shook his head. "You go. I'll see you in the next class."

"But we have Art now. You like Art. Come on," I urged him.

He still shook his head and I sighed in annoyance. He grinned and took a step towards me. "Don't worry, Stan. Like I said, I'll see you in the next class. You won't miss me for long."

I blinked in surprise as his words sunk into my brain, causing my mouth to open slowly. He laughed quietly and patted my shoulder lightly. "Calm down, Marsh. I was just kidding."

I blinked again and looked away, a small embarrassed grin on my face as my cheeks started to flush red.

He laughed again before saying goodbye and leaving towards… well, wherever he went when he skipped class. I wasn't too sure where and I'm still unsure. Oh well, it doesn't really matter too much.

I felt my eyes on him until he turned a corner and was completely out of sight. I only realized then that my heart was beating a mile a minute and I knew at that very moment, that my feelings for Cartman had changed forever…

* * *

_Wow, that chapter was longer than I thought it'd be! XD_

_Chapter 2 should be up quite soon by the way. And this story is only a twoshot so there's no more chapters after the next one._

_Hope you enjoyed! And please review and tell me what you think so far =D_


	2. Chapter 2

_Happy Easter, my awesome readers! =D Here's chapter 2 of this fic. This chapter is a lot shorter than the last one by the way. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing but oh well XD Hope you enjoy!_

* * *

And that is how I fell in love with Eric Theodore Cartman. And I've loved him ever since; my love for him becoming deeper every time he looks into my eyes, which happens a lot unintentionally.

I never did find out why he started that rumour in the first place. When did I **ever** make out that I liked Bebe Stevens? I never talked to her at all! It made no sense to why Cartman would start such a stupid rumour. Surely he knew Craig would want to kick my ass once he heard it. But then he came to protect me. It made no fucking sense!

Well then again, it **is** South Park. Nothing makes sense in this fucked up town!

I never asked him about the rumour after that day, though I wanted to. I just never found the right moment to ask him. It would be too awkward. Though maybe someday I'll ask… and hopefully he'll remember.

Speaking of the fatass, my phone suddenly starts beeping, indicating I got a text. I glance down at the screen and see it is from Cartman.

That's weird. He _never _texts me…

While my heart starts to race, I open the text, eager to see what he wants.

_Hey Stan. I'm __**so**__ bored and there's no one else to talk to so I decided to text you. So what's up, fag?_

I blink slowly as I read the text a few more times, my heart thumping madly in my chest.

I don't know why but I suddenly feel the need to talk to him, to hear his voice. Just one thought of him makes me need to see or hear him! I'm strange like that…

I exit the text and scroll down through my contacts until I land on his name and number. My finger clicks the 'Call' button of its own accord and I press the phone to my ear nervously.

The phone rings twice before he picks up. "Hey, dude. I never said you had to call me," he says and I swallow loudly, hoping he didn't hear. "So what-"

"**Cartman**," I interrupt him, my voice coming out quite sharp, surprising even me.

He sounds taken aback, as I expected, as he speaks. "Damn, Stan, you sound… weird. What's up, hippie?"

"I need to ask you something, Cartman," I say, trying to make my voice come out softer. He doesn't answer and I guess that means he's waiting for me to go on. "You remember two years ago when you were protecting me from Craig after he heard that rumour that I was secretly dating Bebe that you supposedly started?" I ask.

I hear him let out a long sigh. "Stan, I was hoping you'd never mention that again. Why are you suddenly bringing it up again after two years?"

I shrug but then remember we're on the phone and he can't see me. "I don't know," I say. "Just answer this next question."

He sighs again and I take that as a cue to continue. "Why did you start the rumour?"

There's silence. A long silence, the only sound being the soft breathing coming from Cartman and the loud thumping of my heart against my chest.

After a few minutes, I start to think he's not going to answer, but he does finally and I listen up eagerly.

"Stan… I can't tell you," he says, and my shoulders slump, my excitement dropping. "I'm sorry. I just can't tell you. Can we talk about something else?"

I let out a long sigh of my own as I think deeply in my mind, thinking of something to do to make him tell me. I'm definitely not letting go of the subject _that_ quickly.

I finally think of an idea, not the best one ever but still not a bad idea.

"Cartman, if I tell you my biggest secret **ever**, will you tell me what I want to know?" I ask.

He pauses again, probably thinking it over, before answering. "Are you seriously going to tell me your biggest secret ever, Stan?"

"Yes," I reply nodding, even though he can't see me. "I promise."

There's another pause and I hear him sigh quietly. "Alright fine. Deal."

A slow smile spreads across my face and I punch the air in triumph before I realize my situation and a nervous feeling swells in the pit of my stomach. I have to tell Cartman my biggest secret ever! Holy shit!

Is it really worth telling him my biggest secret just to know the reason he started that rumour two years ago?

The answer is…… yes… I think.

"Cartman, this is really hard for me to say so listen up 'cause I'm not repeating it." I clear my throat before continuing, feeling my heart thumping wildly in my chest again. "Cartman, ever since that day two years ago I've been feeling… _different _towards you."

There's another pause and I can almost see the puzzled look form on Cartman's face. "What do you mean, Stan?"

I sigh and continue. "I can't stop thinking about you, Cartman, and… whenever our eyes meet I nearly collapse."

"…Stan, where are you going with this?" he asks, and I can hear the suspicion in his voice.

I shut my eyes tightly as I speak the next words, making sure to say it loudly and clearly so as not having to repeat it. "I love you, Cartman. I love you so much. I just…I…"

I don't say anymore. I'm not sure what else to say. I wait nervously for his reply, begging with all my heart that he tells me he feels the same way. If he said those words… 'I love you' back to me, I would probably die with happiness!

There is a long silence, longer than any other silence there's been, and I have no idea what's running through his mind. My guesses are surprise, shock and (hopefully) delight.

Boy, I am so very wrong about the last one.

"**WHAT**?!" he cries, in a high-pitched tone, startling me and nearly making me drop my phone.

"C Cartman, what's wrong?" I ask, my voice coming out a little shaky.

"Don't you ever tell me stuff like that, Stan! **Ever**!" he yells. "It's not right! Don't you know that I hate you, Stan? Not as much as Kahl but I still hate you! I despise you! And you're meant to hate me, so don't say that you fucking love me, you fag!"

He pauses for breath and during that short pause I feel my heart pounding and being slowly ripped out of my chest and torn into two.

"Oh, and I'm not telling you the reason I started the rumour that day and then came to your rescue, faggot! So don't bother asking me again!" he adds. "But believe me, Stan, if you think it's 'cause I have any _feelings _for you, you're dead wrong! I hate you, Stan. I hate you so much!"

And he hangs up, before I can even say a word, leaving me to burst into floods of tears and clutch my chest where my broken heart is. I've never felt such serious agony before in my life, until this very moment.

_Eric Cartman doesn't love you. Eric Cartman doesn't love you._

Those words keep swimming around in my head, repeating themselves over and over, no matter how hard I try to get rid of them. This must be what real agonizing pain feels like. Well if this is what it feels like, then I don't think I can bear any more of it…

----------- **Cartman's POV**

I feel terrible. I feel the worst I've ever felt in my life. I'm such a fucked up person for doing what I did. But I just had to do it… I had to.

Why did I do it, you ask? Because I had to break his heart. Now that it's broken it can never be broken again in the future. Not by me anyway.

I know that I made the right choice. If I'd told him I loved him back then we'd probably start dating and I'd end up breaking his heart more times than one, unintentionally of course. No matter how hard I'd try not to hurt him, I know I would… somehow. I'm Eric fucking Cartman. I'm the master of pain. I hurt others so many times, mostly on purpose but sometimes accidentally as well…

This is so much better. Stan's heart is strong. It will heal eventually and he can forget about me and get on with his life and hopefully fall in love with someone else, someone better than me. Someone who won't hurt him.

Then I can watch him from afar, watching him glow with happiness the way he does when he's in love. And I'll be protecting him secretly, not resting until I completely trust his new found lover and then I'll leave him alone completely, leaving him in the hands of his new lover, and hopefully everything will turn out alright.

But although he'll be happy, I won't be. As much as I'd love to say something like 'as long as he's happy, I'm happy' or something faggy like that, I can't, because it's not the truth… I love Stan Marsh with all my heart and soul, and he'll never know. He can't know.

And I can never tell him the reason I started that stupid rumour that day two years ago. He can never know.

…….

Ugh, well obviously you'd ask what it is, wouldn't you? Pft, typical… Alright I'll tell you. But I'm only telling you and then no one else, understand? Oh and if you tell anyone else I'll come after you and fucking kill you!

Alright now that you understand that, I'll tell you what you want to know.

The reason I started that rumour was because I knew Craig would threaten to beat Stan up once he heard it and I wanted to save Stan and say that I was the one who started the rumour. I knew that they'd both be curious and want to know why I would start a rumour and then go and protect Stan myself, and I was going to tell them the real reason I started it.

The real reason being that I loved Stan and wanted to show him I'd protect him always and never let anything bad happen to him. I wanted to tell him I loved him.

But I couldn't. I didn't. I wasn't able to.

I was annoyed at myself then because I wasn't strong enough to reveal the truth but I realize now that it's best I didn't. It's better this way. I would have hurt him. I'm not sure exactly_ how_ I'd hurt him, but I would. Like I said, I'm Eric Cartman, the master of pain and suffering.

Now I won't ever be able to hurt him, as long as I stay away from him and only protect him when he really needs me and as long as I keep my feelings completely under my control. I can't give him any hints that I might like him back or care for him at all, despite the fact I saved his ass that day. That would ruin everything.

Although I have to pretend I don't care about him in the slightest and I have to tell him occasionally that I hate him, that will never be true. My feelings for him will never change.

I love you, Stan Marsh, no matter what I tell you or how I act around you. I've always loved you, and I always will…

* * *

_The end!_

_Wow, I'm actually quite proud of this story. I really enjoyed writing it and I really like the couple StanxCartman. It's cute! I think I might write some more fics with this couple in the future =D_

_What should the couple name be? Startman? Stanric? Cartstan? Ugh, it can be so hard choosing couple names! XD _

_Anyway I really hope you all enjoyed this, especially you Nikki-Fox, and please review telling me what you think of this fic and what you think the couple name should be. Or if there's already a couple name for them then tell me =D And constructive criticism is always welcome. Bye bye for now! =D_

_PS: If you review you get an Easter egg!! XD_


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